New Dawn

Motivational Monday with Merissa

The Reality

The above passage sits with me differently now. It’s something I wrote in one of three of the journals that survived Hurricane Helene. I wrote it when I was about 17, when I was battling with running to God or away from Him. I’ve been going through a difficult time since Hurricane Helene. Although my family and I are completely fine, with minimal losses in comparison to hundreds of thousands of others…

Goodness, I just wanted to hide.

I lost all of my high school journals to the storm, just because I didn’t think any water would get to where they were stored. Not only that, but seriously sentimental items were also “drowned” by the sea monster.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the face of my oldest brother when he pulled out this huge stack of soggy journals … It was like his soul left his body, when he turned to look at me. Before I could even scream, my brother pulled me into the tightest hug.

Then, I let it out.

There’s a sacredness in a writers journal. It’s within those pages, that they connect with just a pen, a piece of paper, and God Himself. And all of my high school journals were just that. The inky evidence of my heart taking the hand of Jesus and saying, “I do.”

I do love you.

I do want you.

I do follow you.

I do seek you.

The devastation I felt, the second the reality crashed down on me—that these personal promises were washed away, it broke me. Every single revelation, poem, story, and word that came from Jesus were all gone. The types of written things that literally saved my life had been swallowed up. Gosh, I felt like I was being buried alive. Suffocated by the reality that those words weren’t coming back—all because I wasn’t prepared for the hurricane.

I wanted to hide.

But God didn’t let me.

“Therefore we do not lose heart even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.”

2 Corinthians 4:16 NKJV

I didn’t want to hear it

I’ll be honest! I didn’t want to hear any type of comforting word from anybody.

The above scripture uses the word “perishing” which is exactly how I felt. I mean, I literally just wrote “Carry You” talking about the encouragement from my old journals. And I just wrote the short story “The Melody of Heaven” which is about a violinist and now my violin was sunk (one of the other lost items, along with my typewriter).

The confusion I felt was INTENSE. What on Earth was going on? Was this all my fault? Did I do something wrong? I thought I was hearing God!

But, thankfully, I have an amazing family (who happens to be Italian) so, like, I couldn’t even sit in that place for very long 😂 Look, my family have always been together. Through thick and thin, we’re stuck as one. No. Matter. What. If one suffers, we all suffer.

We may be talkin’ kind of loud (but that’s just our normal tones) but one thing is for sure … we’ll always be acting in TRUTH and LOVE because that’s all that’s allowed. Period.

So when my oldest brother hugged me tight, as I cried my eyes out—I knew that it was okay. And when my mom hugged me a thousand times and let me cry on her shoulder—I knew that it wasn’t my fault. Then when my dad told me “I’m sorry” so many different times—I knew it was more than “just tangible things” that I lost.

Family has a way of showing you the Heart of the Father, when you let them. Whether that’s your biological family or your spiritual family, they’re there to show you love and truth.

I just had to hear mine out.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God”

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NKJV

You know…

The word “gone” felt really real for the first time in my life. I barely could talk to God about anything. But I knew Jesus was there with me. At one point, when I was crying, I knew He was crying with me. And that moment when I fell on my knees because it hurt too bad—I knew Jesus picked me up and carried me.

Because the God of all Comfort loves me and I love him.

Now, dear reader, we’ve all experienced loss before. For some of you, it’s worse than what I can even imagine. There are people all across Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, and North Carolina suffering a thousand times worse than I am right now all because of Hurricane Helene. For the first time for a lot of us, we’re experiencing a sorrow we can’t even explain.

It hurts. It’s deep. It’s unique to you. Any yet, you’re not alone. Because the God of all Comfort loves you.

Jesus doesn’t want you to hide in your suffering. He want’s you to come into His Big Arms of comfort and grace. Jesus want’s you to be healed, by Him.

It’s easy to get caught up in our own hurt, feelings, and regrets. It’s easy to ask God “why” but not actually come to Him with our pain. It’s easy to run and hide until everything “gets better” but suddenly wake up one day and find untreated wounds.

It’s easy to get lost in our own worlds, but it’s hard to let go and carry on.

While at church on Sunday, I was getting emotional all over again about my situation. I finally went, “But, Lord, why my journals? They were my journals!” I cried.

But instantly, I heard the Holy Spirit gently say, “But, Merissa, you know I have your journals.”

It was in that moment, I broke. Instantly, the heaviness and that “buried alive” feeling left. This sweet, comforting assurance that Jesus personally had all my journals neatly stacked in some grand Heavenly library … brought this huge smile on my face.

I knew that Jesus had my journals.

I don’t have to stay lost in my loss. I can rise up and see what God has for me in every tomorrow. He has a plan far greater than I can see, a story written way more exciting than I can imagine. And I’m going to let Him walk me through this.

And guess what? I’ll still get to write about it and fill more journals with all the details.

“Lost in my own world, I forget how I’ve been found. In a reality that says everything happens for a reason. A reason that no one can explain, not even myself—is completely answered by an unbreaking fact. So I can march through this life, knowing that wherever I go I belong because:

I have been found by love.”

~Lost & Found by Merissa Nicole

Be Comforted

It’s okay to cry.

It’s okay to let it out.

It’s okay to let it go.

Maybe you lost someone or something special to you. Just know, Jesus has them all. You can let it go and breathe again. Maybe your situation is far worse than my own. Maybe something from your past still hurts you today.

Just know that Jesus is there to comfort you.

He’s here to rescue His lost sheep. He’s here to restore what was broken. Jesus is here to be love for you. Don’t run away, don’t run and hide … instead awake and let the Light of Christ shine on your face. Let your story be a story of God’s redemption and restoration. When you opened your precious heart to the Creator and let Him be your Comforter, your Healer.

Arise, Son & Daughter of God, for the new dawn has come.

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

Shoutout:

Now, thank you everyone for encouraging and praying when I mentioned that the hurricane hit (so many of you!) But I want to give a special thanks to

Deborah T. Hewitt

,

Susan Kuenzi

,

Alison Bull

, and

jack cuison

. Getting your private messages was extremely comforting and just knowing you were praying for me really means the world.

This truly is a wonderful community ❤️